My Pain

Random thoughts of a Restless mind

In the name of All Mighty Allah

zombie | 12 July 2006, 9:26am

If its Kashmir they want, then lets give to them.How long will this bloodbath continues and how long will we maintain silence? This senseless voilence and mindless terrorism, will it ever end? And how far are we from the day where instead of RDX we have a nuclear bomb? How long will the government keep saying India is a peace loving country and India condemns terrorism and keep waking up pictures of shattered bodies and torn limbs? How many more will be killed for piece of land? Either give them what they want or finish this once for all. Why can't be take the Israel approach? So what if Israel has the US backing? Are we so helpless that we can't protect ourselves from these religious fanatics?

I am like any other Hyderabadi. Unless I am directly affected by anything I don't react. But last night I have seen a colleague of mine franticly trying to find out if her brother is alive and safe. And for some reason I was AFFECTED by that. And I started calling my friends who thankfully live in a differnt part of Mumbai and asking them to go to all the hospital were victims of the bomb blast were admitted and check out for my colleague's brother. I could so easyly picture someone else trying to find out if I am still alive . I realised that today it Mumbai and tomorrow it can be Hyderabad.

I know this sounds cliche but unless we as citizens take a strong stand on terrorism then the government will take a stand; afterall ours is a so called democratic country that too the biggest one in the world.

And in the end, in the name of All Mighty Allah lets nuke the bastards responsible for this and end this once for all!!!

Current Mood: Thoughtful
Current Music: Silence

Story of Her

zombie | 29 May 2006, 3:05pm

There she sits
In His laps
and asks Him;
"What is that tiny blue thing Baba?"
He replies
"Thats the planet Earth which I created for you My Princess".


Lying on the damp earth,
Drunk on sorrows
Her aching heart
thinks of the past.


Hit in the face,
by the brutal truth of reality
Alone she is
and alone will always be.


Love will never come to her
Nor will peace
She doesn't wish to die
nor she wishes to live.

Current Mood: Holy
Current Music: Fying in a blue dream - Joe Sat

Peace at Last

zombie | 8 April 2006, 5:25am

Beyond the years my soul shall find,

For all the peace it has pined.

And when light comes to this blood filled eyes,

It will come all unconfined.


This poem is very close to my heart. I got up one day after a very bad night and I have been stuck with this poem. I donno if this is inspired by another poem that I read earlier...I just can't recollect. I tried searching, but to no avail.

Current Mood: Thoughtful
Current Music: Whatever is in my iPod.

Tragedy King

zombie | 31 March 2006, 5:00am

Abundance is what I don't need,
Rarety is the only purity.
Love me like you love yorself
Touch me like you touch yourself
Tears became rain,
When you showed me that I am I.
I set sail on a paper boat,
to cross the ocean in your heart.
I know I will drown,
But never loose hope.
Life can sometimes be fair,
but there should be more to life than this.
And in the end,
Why should I be the tragedy king,
and you live happyly every atfer?

Current Mood: Feeling Better
Current Music: Khoon Chala - RDB

I met God when I was Stoned

zombie | 29 March 2006, 5:10am

I met God when I was stoned.It was damp and cold with no lights around.

"Just another one and you will be there", said the voice.

I took a drag and fell on my back. My eyes rolled and senses numb.

"Oh take me there" I asked the voice.

The voice took my hand and I left my body. Floating now and giggling like a child. I saw the moon, I saw the stars lonely and cold waiting to die. Some big and bright and some small and dull. Terrifyingly alone yet immaculately placed. I said goodbye to them and entered the darkness.

"What is this place?" I asked the voice.
"Its the graveyard for the death" came the reply.
I took another drag and said "NO SHIT".
"Yes that too", said the voice.

Slowly darkness gave way to a kind of blueish haze. It was like the sky was filled with some kind of blue gas.

"Now whose graveyard is this?" I asked the voice.
"Stars. This is where life is created. Stars when they die, they explode and thus life is
created" came the answer.

Utterly confused and dazed I stared ahead. I saw a faint light growing big.

"What is THAT?"
"Thats the light tunnel. We need to take it to meet Him".
"Light tunnel?"
"Yes Light Tunnel".
"And who is He?"
"He is the one you wanted to meet!"

As I entered the light tunnel, my body froze. I could not move and SHIT i could not blink even. Then I entered a room filled with people. People of all ages, sex, race and colour dancing and swaying in ecstacy to the tunes of the DJ. I looked around for the DJ and there he was standing in the corner spinning records.

"Thats Him! He is the One you wanted to meet" said the voice.
I walked to the DJ and asked "Who the hell are you Dude? and where the fuck am I?"

The DJ turned around and said "Ah! finally you have come. I'm the God"

I rubbed my eyes in disbelief wondering if I was reading too much of Harry Potter.

"No kidding. You are THE God? But you are the DJ."
"Yes I'm the DJ and I am the God. I am the Alpha and the Beta. I am the beginning and the
end. Hell I am Jim Morrison and I'm John Lenon" came the answer from the DJ with loose t-shirt and super loose baggy pants.

"Wait! Am I dreaming?"
"No you are not."
"Who are these people?"
"Oh! they are my guests. Look around you will find some famous and interesting people."
"How did these people get here?"
"They attained Nirvana!"
"No shit! This is where people come after attaining Nirvana?"
"Can I have a drag?" asked the DJ
"You want a drag?" I asked Him in absolute disbelief.
"Yes dude I want a drag and stop acting surprised."

Shell shocked and with great effort I passed the joint to Him.He took a drag, inhaling the smoke savoring every moment.

"You know the biggest mistake I ever did after getting stoned?"
"What?" I asked feeling unreal and stupid.
"I created mankind and ever since I am trying to cover up."


This piece was not written to hurt anyone's religious sentiments. If it does, then Dude take a hike.

Coming Soon: I met Gandhi when I was stoned.





Current Mood: Mooney
Current Music: Man Who Sold the World - Niravana

Bizzare Episodes

zombie | 2 March 2006, 6:13pm

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I always believed that I don

Current Mood: Heroic
Current Music: Alone in Kyoto - Talkie Walkie


zombie | 28 February 2006, 10:18pm

Starry Night
Unsure thoughts,
Awakward silence,
Interrupted words
Untold secrets
Half smiles
Please Talk!
let me drown in your voice.
Please stay!
Let me play with your hair.
Lets interwine our memories,
Lower our gaurds,
Lets dance together
to the music of our souls.

Current Mood: Sloshed
Current Music: As the rush comes - Motorcycle


zombie | 21 January 2006, 2:05am

I miss the memories of the poet I was,
I miss the memories of the dreamer I was.
Lost in drunken stupor,
I miss the memories of the person I was.

Current Mood: Cold
Current Music: Time of your Life - Green Day

Lonely Walk

zombie | 5 January 2006, 10:28pm

Walking alone
hands in the pocket,
Shining lights lined across the street,
Staring around with Cold eyes
Invisible among strangers
Straying thoughts
Lost Opputunties
Abandoned hopes
Unsaid words
Oh I am dying a thousand deaths every waking hour.

Current Mood: Gloomy
Current Music: Yellow - Cold Play

Stoned Illusion

zombie | 20 December 2005, 2:32am

Sadness fades to numbness
A million scarlet faces on the horizon
A lone man wandering on the streets
Loud music ringing in his ears
Confronting unknown fears
Desires flying high in the air
Walking on shattered glasses
Harbouring deep desires
Putting to together broken life
Head held high
Ready to become a martyr
Is this a dream?
Or a stoned Illusion!

Current Mood: Destructive
Current Music: Hey You - Pink Flyod


zombie | 17 November 2005, 1:11am

Will this hollow heart find love again?
Or will it wither away in this pain?
Beyond hope and beyond thoughts,
Will i feel complete again?

Current Mood: Dumb
Current Music: Great gig in the sky - Pink Floyd

Perfect Illusion

zombie | 16 September 2005, 2:39am

Its a perfect Illusion
Shade by shade turning to grey;
I see a womb I want to forever stay.
I am falling down with my tears,
This continued for many years.
Now my world has turned to blood,
brighter than the darkest red.
Would you enter my world?
Innocently naked and beautifully bold?
Would you suck this blood off my ruined empire?
and become my mother and holy vampire?
So you have to leave now?
but i'll see you in the future somehow,
Cos' past is experince, present is simulation and future is the only reality.

Current Mood: Thoughtful
Current Music: Dream on - Aerosmith


zombie | 10 September 2005, 1:58am

I Stood guard to our memories tonight,
I Stood guard to the tears in my eyes.

Brazen thoughts,
Muffled cries,
Silent Whispers,
Sleepless nights,


While she dances free from unnatural trammels,
I am standing here with pain in my heart.

While she lived her ephemeral life with pride,
I have come to become a wastrel.

I Stood guard to our love tonight,
I Stood guard to my dying heart.

As I stare across the mist filled window into the cold oblivion,
All I can see is her shadow and hear echos of my silence.

Look what  have become now,
Just a vacant soul with no deep thoughts.

I stand guard to our memories tonight,
I stand guard to the tears in my eyes.


Current Mood: Heartbroken
Current Music: Toxicity - System of a Down

State of mind

zombie | 24 August 2005, 10:17pm

I am just a restless mind with random thoughts. I am just an average person trying to progress into an unknown higher state. A state where everything you do and everything you see makes sense. I hate being average. I want to be at peace.

I do not want some random thoughts circumnavigating my mind and drive me insane. Make me question my purpose of living.I tried killing myself, but could not. Why? I do not know why i want to live.

I think conscience is our biggest enemy. had humans not had conscience, they could have been something else.Or is it intelligence that ruining mankind?

Current Mood: Confused
Current Music: Lets get Metaphysical- David Gilmour

My Pain

zombie | 19 August 2005, 10:04pm

Wet winter land beackons me there
Love's life gone donno where?
Looked for it in the waters of wisdom,
but found it hiding in the middle of your bossom.
The touch of your skin ties me to the ground,
but my peril stops me from truning around.
Wanna give you love none can compare,
Cos' you are my answered prayer.
Wanna be born same again,
nothing new minus the pain.
Wet winter land beackons me there
Gotto to miss you love.
Packed now wish i could miss the train,
but you know theres always a plane.

Current Mood: Gloomy
Current Music: All of this - Blink 182



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